When you look at life retrospectively you rarely regret anything that you did, but you might regret things that you didn't do.
Frankly, I got into the movies because I like the movies a lot.
I want a big 25-foot pink statue that holds my grave. Or I also might like the way the Indians did it. They hang you up on the top of a tree and the birds eat you. No, really I would probably choose cremating.
Decent people shouldn't live here. They'd be happier some place else.
I envy people of faith. I'm incapable of believing in anything supernatural.
When they say I'm a great actor, I close my ears because it's not good for you to think that way.
I usually don't get too bogged down with my personal problems because that's a one-way street if you get yourself into a negative frame of mind and only see the dark side of life.
I don't even own a cell phone.
Just because you're perfectionist doesn't mean you're perfect.
Women -- a mistake, or did He do it to us on purpose?
I resist all established beliefs. My religion basically is to be immediate, to live in the now. It's an old cliche, I know, but it's mine. I envy people of faith. I'm incapable of believing in anything supernatural. So far, at least. Not that I wouldn't like to. I mean, I want to believe. I do pray. I pray to something ... up there. I have a God sense. It's not religious so much as superstitious. It's part of being human, I guess ... Do unto others: How much deeper into religion do we really need to go?
When it's over for a woman, it's over. You're not getting an appeal.
You are more thoughtful because you don't act as quickly anymore. When I turned 70 it was the first time I felt young for my age. Fifty dropped on me like a ton of bricks - there is something about that number - but when 70 came along I felt good about it.
I've never been able to say I've been influenced by a list of artists I like because I like thousands and thousands and I've been influenced in some way by all of them.
I am in an age group where it is rude to discuss money, and now it is all anyone cares about.
Even in the most sophisticated person, it is the primitive eye that watches the film.
There's no point dwelling on what might or could have been. You just have to go forward.
I used to be very quick, I would be able to leave the room and be back before you noticed. When you can't do that anymore you need to change the style of how you do things. But I'm very interested in life and you don't want to lose that.
I'm Irish. I think about death all the time.
It's not like I'm starved for company - I have a few very good lady friends - but there's only a certain amount of times a woman wants to see you and never go out for dinner.
You can't handle the truth!
Being pigeonholed is the death of all actors.
I'm against cronyism, and I had to learn that early on. Like, I don't have an entourage, because I saw the negative effects of those things.
There is one thing I know about creative conflict: once my argument is exhausted, I am not going to be unhappy whether it moves in my direction or away.
I have mainly been interested in acting. I think it's a great job, a fine way to live your life.
I don't think many people have a very good understanding of leisure and the importance it plays in our lives.
Time keeps no measure when true friends are parted, No record day by day; the sands move not for those who, loyal-hearted, friendship's firm laws obey.
I don't want to direct a movie as good as Antonioni, or Kubrick, or Polanski, or whoever. I want it to be my own. I think I've got the seed of it and, what's more, that I can make movies that are different and informed by my taste.
I think that's what distinguishes Schmidt, really. In the movies now, so much of what is appealing to an audience is the dramatic or has to do with science fiction, and Schmidt is simply human. There's no melodrama; there's no device, It's just about a human being.
Almost everybody's happy to be a fool for love.
You know, I think I understand what you're like now. You're very beautiful and you think men are only interested in you because you're beautiful. But you want them to be interested in you because you're you. The problem is, aside from all that beauty, you're not very interesting. You're rude, you're hostile, you're sullen, you're withdrawn... oh, I know- you want someone to look past all that at the real person underneath. But the only reason anyone would bother to look past all that is because you're beautful. Ironic, isn't it? In an odd way you're your own problem.
I didn't know that my sister was really my mother until I was thirty-seven years old. But life has taught me that there have been a lot of things that I didn't know.
I respect the social graces enormously. How to pass the food. Don't yell from one room to another. Don't go through a closed door without a knock. Open the doors for the ladies. All these millions of simple household behaviors make for a better life. We can't live in constant rebellion against our parents - it's just silly. I'm very well mannered. It's not an abstract thing. It's a shared language of expectations.
When we make mistakes they call it evil. When God makes mistakes they call it Nature!
Dissembling is a common tool of the anger junkie.
Acting is everybody's favorite second job.
If you get an impulse in a scene, no matter how wrong it seems, follow the impulse. It might be something and if it ain't - take two!
I've always had an urge to feed my need to have fun and feel free. I don't see any interesting alternatives.
My motto is: more good times.
If it is difficult to know yourself as an individual, it seems to be more complex as a couple. So if you say, "Oh I like a person who is like this and that," you might take away the possibility of seeing the only one that might be right for you.
I'm very contra my constituency in terms of abortion because I'm positively against it. I don't have the right to any other view. My only emotion is gratitude, literally, for my life.
I have a lot of vanity.
I would never want to vilify somebody who considered abortion murder. I was an illegitimate child myself. I may not have existed today.
I resist all established beliefs. My religion basically is to be immediate, to live in the now.
The blues and jazz will live forever... So will the Delta and the Big Easy.
I can't hit on women in public any more. I didn't decide this; it just doesn't feel right at my age.
With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60.
At 55 I said the probability is I won't have another relationship. I just didn't want to start another family. Between my own bizarre criteria and taste and the fact that I'm not available for many things I thought it was unlikely. Once you know the science about it, I don't think anybody should consider being committed to a real eternal relationship until you're through something called the infatuation circle.
Well, a girlfriend once told me never to fight with anybody you don't love.
Men dominate because of physicality, and thus they have mercy where women do not.
I don't want people to know what I'm actually like. It's not good for an actor.
I've never lost a friend over work. I come from a small-town environment and I remember my childhood impressions that, if you were a conniver or a fink or whatever, everybody knew about it and you were a louse for the rest of your life. So I never lost those values in some way.
I think human beings have a basic instinct to be free and explore their world in their own way. I've always been driven to look at life as something which we should try to plunge into rather than sit back. You have to be able to have fun and keep creating a sense of excitement to how you approach the world.
Comedy is much harder, it's a lot more exacting. You can't just be real and you can't just use the same kind of techniques you use to fill up a regular scene.
I'm definitely still wild at heart.
I'll tell you one thing: Don't ever give anybody your best advice, because they're not going to follow it.
I'd prefer if people had no impressions of me. As a kid, I had to tell my own family, "Please, just don't talk about me!" Because they always got it wrong. Always. I just didn't want them to tell anyone anything about me.
You can call me Joker. And as you can see, I'm a lot happier.
There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend.
If men are honest, everything they do and everywhere they go is for a chance to see women.
Early on, if I was alone two three nights in a row, I'd start writing poems about suicide.
Human beings are always going to find interesting ways of making a mess of their lives. It's human nature.
Do you think God knew what he was doing when he created woman?
For a long time, I was afraid to be alone. I had to learn how to be alone. And there are still times when I think, Uh-oh! I gotta talk to somebody here or I'm gonna go crazy! But I like to be alone. Now I do. I really do. There's a big luxury in solitude.
Having kids is the most innately positive thing that anyone can do.
I love working with women directors. They don't mind making you cute.
If you think you’re attractive, you’re always attractive.
There were points in my life where I felt oddly irresistible to women. I'm not in that state now and that makes me sad.
I don’t want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me.
You're anachronistic when you know that your feelings aren't going to have any effect on anything.
Sometimes a bit of distance can be very healthy. You can go away by yourself on a trip and come back very glad to be with your partner because you've cleared your head out of all the negativity.
We learn how to kiss, or to drink, talk to our buddies-all the things that you can't really teach in social studies or history-we all learn them at the movies.
You can follow the action, which gets you good pictures. You can follow your instincts, which will probably get you in trouble. Or, you can follow the money, which nine times out of ten will get you closer to the truth.
I think it's good if a man gives a woman some time to herself because I think we all need that and we can all benefit from that. It doesn't imply a rejection of the other person, just a sense that because we do have our separate identities, sometimes you have to be less involved in another person's life or need to have that other person be less involved in your life.
I was particularly proud of my performance as the Joker. I considered it a piece of pop art.
My point of view, while extremely cogent, is unpopular. . . . That the repressive nature of the legalities vis-a-vis drugs are destroying the legal system and corrupting the police system.
I eat breakfast 300 yards from 4000 Cubans, who are trained to kill me, so don't think for one second that you can come down here, flash your badge and make me nervous.
I learned a long time ago in Hollywood that the only person I should vote for is myself.
In this industry, there are only two ways up the ladder. Rung by rung or claw your way to the top. It's sure been tough on my nails.
I want my kids to have a deep, inner feeling that it's alright to be happy, that you don't have to be constantly manufacturing problems that you don't really have.
There's a tacit agreement today that the white male is the only legitimate target for any and all satire, criticism, and so forth. And we pretty much just accept it.
I think the Greeks invented sports as an antidote to philosophy.
The only way to break a bad habit was to replace it with a better habit.
We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We're in a race against time, until we run out of money.
There are short parts that I as an actor am very right for. Or I just like the part. Or you need someone like me for the movie. By that I don't mean at the box office, I mean in the execution of the material.
A man needs a private life. With no ability to have a private life, one thing leads to another, and before you know it we have Bill and Monica. We need to get real about things. Humans are humans. Why should we expect more?
I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman.
Life doesn't have to be about finding Osama bin Laden or becoming the president of the United States. Life is about the little things, which is one of the things you learn when you get older.
Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.
A lot of people in the middle of their lives have a secret yearning for more romance.
It's difficult for people sometimes to recognise when they're happy. People sometimes seem to me to be afraid to be happy.
I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away.
In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right.
I wanted to be the best actor possible. I worked very hard at the craft of it.
A lot of people manage to find common ground and not let disagreements or tensions build up and destroy them, and other people break up or get divorced. I don't think anything is ever going to change that situation. You simply try to find an accommodation and an understanding with another person and work from there.
No issue is more compelling than the air we breathe, be it hot or cold, be it hawk or human.
Everyone pretty much acknowledges that he's the man, and I still feel that underrates him.
I always knew there wasn't going to be anybody to help me and emotionally support me, that whatever I did I'd have to do on my own.
People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch.
In the real world there's an after-effect of disappointment if you lose an argument. But if, to begin with, you're set up not to have this particular autonomy, then you're not disappointed.
I don't have any plugs or tucks but people do what they want. I look at it as mutilation.
I have never lied to you, I have always told you some version of the truth.
I don't know if this is a true statistic, but I heard somewhere that there are three times as many single women over forty as single men. That's what we got from the women's movement. The chickens have come home to roost.
The minute that you're not learning I believe you're dead.
I love discourse. I'm dying to have my mind changed. I'm probably the only liberal who read Treason, by Ann Coulter. I want to know, you understand? I like listening to everybody. This to me is the elixir of life.
I am a person who is trained to look other people in the eye. But I can't look into the eyes of everyone who wants to look into mine; I can't emotionally cope with that kind of volume. Sunglasses are part of my armor.
You can't say, "I'm gonna make a hit movie." You're as dead as you could be.
I'm content with the fact that I made a decent effort. That's what I've always worried about: that I wouldn't try hard enough.
It's very easy to go down, so always live up. Incline yourself upward.
Once you've been really bad in a movie, there's a certain kind of fearlessness you develop.
You look at someone long enough, you discover their humanity.
A star on a movie set is like a time bomb. That bomb has got to be defused so people can approach it without fear.
I've always fought against being controlled and manipulated and stomped upon by circumstances.
And this, incidentally, is my thumbnail sketch of American marriage: A woman sees a man; she likes him. Now she jumps on this thing and rides it to some kind of standstill. Then she changes it and trains it, and to the exact degree that she's able to do this, she disrespects him.
Take caution in your tone, commander. I'm a fair man, but this -- heat is making me absolutely crazy.
I know I can act. There aren't too many other jobs I know how to do. Financially, I've lost money and made money, but I know my way around financially. I've been too many places. I'm like the bad penny.
I'd give my goddamned soul for just a glass of beer.
We live, we die, and the wheels on the bus go round and round.
I've been too many places. I'm like the bad penny.
This town needs an enema!
The stage has a certain discipline. But the ultimate standard is more exacting in film, because you have to see yourself and you are your own toughest critic.
You make me want to be a better man.
I love women who have a strong sense of themselves because I know I have a pretty good idea of what I want out of life and I like to be around other people who are also pretty secure. It just makes things easier.
I think the Greeks invented sports as an antidote to philosophy. In sports there are absolute rules. It's not, What about this? What about that? Either you're safe or you're out. It's ten yards or it's not. It's in the hoop or out of the hoop. It's certain.
If you want your freedom, you have to be willing to work hard to exercise it.
